Please stop the carousel!
It’s not that I want to get off, but the constant
Spinning is making me dizzy and I’d like to
Pause
Look at this
Blooming
Daffodil
For one
moment
Before
It dries
To mulch
I’d like to
Look into
This child’s
Eyes just a
Moment longer
Before they take on
The knowledge of good and evil
To see the little flecks of gold shining
If I’m lucky enough to go around fifty more times,
I doubt it will feel like enough, especially with the
Go rounds lost to grief and other dizzying realities
So please stop the carousel, the music, the lights
Let’s linger together on the edge of another year
Continue reading “Please stop the carousel”
Tag: Change
The World Whole
Child of mine
a child only a little longer
If I could send you back to Eden, I would
though it would break my heart for you to be away
Normal Has Wings
Last weekend, I drove to work with two jars of muddy water in my car. The illustration was simple: the human soul is like a jar of river water. Shake it up and everything gets murky, let it settle and we can see more clearly. Of everything I said in my seminar that night, participants remember the jars of water best.
I first encountered this illustration in Ruth Haley Barton’s book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence. It was my junior year of college and the reality of future changes loomed. God used that book to name the chaos in my soul and invite me to live differently.
I wish I could say I’ve been faithful to God’s invitation to silence as a regular practice, but that just isn’t true. Much of my life is lived in a chaotic sort of normal, and times of silence are more often a treat than my bread and butter. Most days I cave to the easy but hollow forms of rest offered by my phone apps rather than reaching for practices that truly still the chaos.
Silence is way to chart a new course for my soul, and silence is a place of clarity I need right now as I navigate a world permanently altered by the pandemic. What about you?
Continue reading “Normal Has Wings”Alma Mater
Today I dawdle along my old familiar paths
Pausing to take in all that has changed
And all that is yet as it used to be
Reaching out, I can almost touch the moments
They whisper out from between the bricks
From cracks in the mortar Continue reading “Alma Mater”
The Neverending Summer
1.
In the heat of late summer
I long for a change
Watching through the warm nights for a sign
Of the approaching season
In the moments before I drift off
Carried on stagnant, humid air to fitful sleep
I long for a touch of winter’s icy hand
For need of the neglected blanket Continue reading “The Neverending Summer”
Take a Number!
mind humming with ideas,
a steady stream of better habits
and an endless list of life goals
(as if I will care at the end
whether I was that well rounded)
I choose instead to remain imbalanced, Continue reading “Take a Number!”
On the Brink
Sometimes in the darkest part of the night
I play my old cassettes to fill the overpowering silence
A familiar cadence of thoughts blares out, ready to lend meaning to any moment
Those tapes remind me of who I am, what the world is like,
How hard to slam the door on the way out of giving a damn –
You know, all the important things
The Sepia Room
Today I sit in my usual place, sipping tea and watching the passers-by.
Within these walls, I live in the safety of the past, everything faded and known. Muffled voices come through the crackle of an old radio, narrating a brown-and-tan world of well rehearsed dance and drama.
As I peer through the sagging window, nothing threatens, nothing surprises. The memorabilia of past joys collect dust on a nearby shelf, comforting reminders of love, belonging, and home. From this vantage point I can participate in the present at a distance (only I must ignore the cracks that might let in a beam of something new).
It is safe, yes, and also numbingly familiar. Continue reading “The Sepia Room”
Repeat the Sounding Joy
There are many beautiful traditions to love at Christmastime: nights alight with dazzling displays, neighbors sharing family favorite treats, music evoking decades gone by, candlelit churches keeping vigil in song, gifts that bring delight and joy.
But every once in a while I wonder… why is it that I love Christmastime so much?
Is it the pumpkin spice lattes and repetitive playlists? Are we really that enamored of turkey that never gets done cooking at the right time or kids hyped up on sugar?
In the Light of Dawn
An expectant mood permeated the room. Seven men, all of them close friends of Jesus, sat waiting. Continue reading “In the Light of Dawn”
In Pursuit of More 